Rambles & Reads: On Intentions
Hello all –
How are you going?
I’ve been feeling a little guilty whenever I think about this dusty corner of the internet. It’s mine, and I feel a sense of responsibility for it. I’ve also been wanting to clean it up a little, write something – but just couldn’t find it in myself to come on here…
What’s been happening?
I fell sick with a terrible flu last week, which catalysed a deep YouTube brain rot situation. It was a series of days marked by fever, zombie-like moaning and just YouTube in the background. What was I watching? Um, a lot of dog grooming videos… I mainly just wanted something in the background as a talisman to ward off fever dreams. The good news is that I didn’t have that any fever dreams (hurrah); the bad news is that I probably didn’t rest that well, haha.
I emerged from my fugue, feeling disappointed about my screen time. After realising I felt human again, I decided to take things into my own hands and tapped on the Libby icon to check my “to-read” tag, for some inspiration. Picked up Octavia E. Butler’s Parable of the Sower, which has been harrowing and action-packed enough to keep me off of YouTube. I also picked up my paperback edition of This Book Will Save Your Life by A.M. Homes, which I re-read every year or so. I have some further thoughts on that book – I’m thinking I’ll write a separate post about it and you can read, if you are bored, haha!
Anyway, all this action on electronic reading has got me thinking about getting a new e-reader, specifically, the Boox Palma. My eyes have been strained by all the reading I’ve been doing on my iPad/iPhone, as my Kobo doesn’t download “skip-the-line” loans off Libby. So yeah, my eyes hurt and I want to spend money to feel something.
Nothing changes… argh.
Okay, I take that back. Things do change – I am, begrudgingly, moving closer toward being a non-fiction girlie!
I’ve finished four non-fiction books since 2025 began, which I am immensely proud of.
A short list of said books along with some emotional commentary:
- All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung. Started in 2024, read 70% in three days, and then ground to a stop because I got bored. Upon reflection, the pacing was a bit strange. Anyway, it took me awhile to finish the last 30%. After that, I gave it to my colleague to read, haha.
- An Immense World by Ed Yong. I loved every minute of it until I got to the chapter about bats and hearing, which really derailed me. The perfectionist in me was like, I’d rather die than skip this chapter, which led to me grinding to a complete stop on finishing this book. (It’s me though, Toby loved it and finished this book in 3 weeks) Anyway, I eventually went back and skipped the chapter and finished the rest of it, which was absolutely fantastic. I’ll try to pass this on to someone who loves animals. But if I have to keep it, I won’t be mad 🙂
- This Is What Inequality Looks Like by Teo You Yenn. Tbf, this is not a book that is meant to be consumed in one sitting. I’m very grateful to have finished this book, especially for the last chapter. This book makes me want to engage a bit more consciously with Singapore, as an act of service and hopefully, an act of love, to my country as well. Even though it’s not always easy to face hard truths about life here.
- They Told Us To Move, edited by the Cassia Resettlement Team/Ng Kok Hoe. I enjoyed this book a lot. Struggled at times with the academic sections of the text. But this is an important read for Singaporeans – as it is likely that we will experience resettlement at some point in our lives. So how do we do resettlement better, if it’s inevitable? Technically, These Precious Days by Ann Patchett is also a non-fiction read, as it’s a collection of essays. However, her writing was so sparkling and delicious that my brain automatically classified as fiction of the highest order, haha.
I’m pretty happy with my “achievements”. I find it much harder to build up momentum with non-fiction. It feels a lot like going to the gym for me – I’d rather sit on the couch and eat chips (i.e. read fiction) but I always feel a lot better for having gone. I put non-fiction down a lot more frequently than I do fiction, to chew on things a bit more. The bad thing is that sometimes I forget to pick it back up again. But the good thing is that consumption is often at a more temperate pace, so it feels more like a gourmet meal. Questions percolate. I feel changed, in small ways.
This brings me to the intentions that I have with this space.
I’ve been thinking about my reading experiences so far… or maybe, more accurately, I’ve been thinking about my consumption habits.
I’ve identified something in me, which is that I want to be changed by what I’m reading… and some way to document how I am being changed.
I’m all for journalling in long-hand, which allows me to have a sense of space, and allows me to breathe on the page. But I’ve been craving something of a contrast: a medium that creates a sense of urgency.
I think this is what writing on a little corner of the internet can provide – there are parameters: word limits, specific time constraints, maybe even people who read these words…
So I’m thinking that I’m going to try and update on a more regular basis, if only as a log of what I’ve been consuming.
I’m just going to try – hopefully perfectionism won’t win. The trick is just to really find time to sit down and type, honestly, and see what comes out. Even if it’s just one line or a picture… I think it could still be a worthy endeavour.
Let’s just see how it goes…
Ok, tata for now.
N