I'm calling it a break
Hello strangers!
I didn't post in July, even though I wanted to. I even drafted a little update post, but couldn't bring myself to post it.
I should have known something was up with me. I was very happy with the "progress" that I had made in June/July - my screen time was down, I was meditating (!!), I wasn't consuming celebrity gossip.
Half-way through August, something felt off. I still don't really know exactly "what" it is. It just felt like something went "click" and I was immediately demotivated from giving more than 40% in all life activities lol. Maybe it's the fact that I'm human and I attune to new normals and my brain was like "OK I'M BORED NOW"...
I'm definitely on my phone a bit more mindlessly and watching YouTube shorts more. Old habits.
I binge watched a whole bunch of Netflix recently. It felt good in the moment and then after that I was like, why?
Is it just a little break? I want to reframe it as such, rather than expecting my growth to be linear all the time. I'm going for Plan C after doing Plan A for awhile. And maybe that is okay?
My friend A said that in meditation, it's normal to get distracted. And the act of coming back to the mantra IS the act of meditation.
So this is me, coming back... ...
I like to imagine that I am the guy in Perfect Days taking pictures of shadows on the wall...
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Write to me here.