do i talk too much?
This thought came up because I was reading a blog post about how someone ended up on Bearblog. Their preference for the simplicity of bearblog was contrasted with the shininess of substack. no hate against it, but I, too, do not feel like I am meant to be on a place like Substack.
Why?
Well, I just spent the last day and a bit going editing and re-editing my last post. Not because I regret posting it... writing things down and thinking things through simply means a shifting in the approach.
But this whole experience made me wonder - Should I aim for a more refined approach to writing? I'm thinking - dot points to first draft to second draft... So that I have a more "stylised" end product?
I also felt frustrated when I review some posts on my archive. On many posts: I ramble!!! On and On. Hahaha.
However.
I do recognize that: I'm just trying to figure things out. Part of that process is the thought spiral - namely, the walk that I need to take to get to where I need to be.
The concept of "showing your work" (per Austin Kleon) also comes back to me. Yes, I would love to be shiny and sleek - and I'm sure that I've taken opportunities to present myself as such in different parts of my life.
But I have to remind myself that what I am trying to do on this space is to... just be. To wrangle - with myself, with ideas, with figuring out HOW.
It's a good reminder to me to just get it done - and for now, that means: word vomit, refine refine refine, until it's good (for that point in time). Reflect. REPEAT!
Admittedly, the record of process is wholly unglamorous.
To be frank, I don't really want to read back many of my old posts - not because I hate the person who wrote it. It's just... so tedious. (I am such an inefficient person, hahahaha).
But it has proved useful for a general identification of trends/directions I want to go... which is why I started this garden in the first place.
So. To answer myself: I do talk to much. To myself. But that's what I set out to do.
And: I'm going to keep on talking TOO MUCH.